it's like iHOP with fire
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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