I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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