I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
