He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
