i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
