the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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