u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
my poor anus
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
