she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
