pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
