He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
