see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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