I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
