i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I have post one night stand depression
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