Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
