Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
