Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
