____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
