she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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