I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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