i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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