she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
