im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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