Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
