i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
