She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize