$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
