i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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