I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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