dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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