Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
