The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize