You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
