Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
