My first STD was from a foam party
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
