I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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