I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
