Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
