I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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