school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
