Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize