Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
