Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
