why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
