Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
