No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
