Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize