I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
