I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
