It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize