the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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