I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
did you just send me my own nude
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
