U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
