The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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