Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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