dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
