fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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