As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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