Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
