I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
