You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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