During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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