So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
